A short diversion to thank Neil Young...for being such a groovy old fucker..

and to the posh geezers on Movers & Shakers for shaking the old Parkie tree so effective...lee

2nd December 2023

After another shit night’s broken sleep heaved myself into clothes and tuned into to the comforting middle class tones of Movers & Shakers the Parkie Podcast. Which turned out to be a kind of revelation…as it seems that the shock of being diagnosed plus the drugs have a strong tendency to make us madder and badder - well more creative and care less about what people think .

The dopamine in the drugs as well as topping up where we are low also over tops in other areas…

Here are some quotes from the show (transcribed by the wonderful and free AI word to text app Otter).

“It's the one side of Parkinson's that does make me happy. For me, it's often a middle of the night thing. So it is associated with being up a lot. But it's also…completely compulsive…I have no choice. But I think the other thing is that the drugs do take away your inhibitions.

.. there's this quote from John Cleese…saying… creativity is the willingness to experiment be like a child to take risks, make mistakes,

Often a dictation machine miss what I say and writes something completely different, and once or twice, I've just gone with that. It's quite exciting… when you think well, we're on a completely random path here…”

“ The main reason for doing this (writing and recording an album with some of the world’s top musicians) is that, you know, I've got a 14 year old son and I've got a 18 month old son and my 18 month old isn't going to see his dad play.

in a moment where I [could be] my most vulnerable, the identity flip to something I couldn't ever have imagined doing before my Parkinson's is a bit of a head spinner. Creativity coupled with I don't give a damn .. I can't play half the songs on this record that I wrote two years ago… the Indiana Jones..analogy the door in the Temple of Doom. I've got to try and slide under is getting narrower and narrower and my window to to get through to … my music is is smaller and smaller. So..there's a sense of I don't give a damn, who cares about the judgments? Who cares?”

“I was a management consultant. I was going to write a book on facilities management and creativity.. but [now] I couldn't write a book to save my life. I just can't organise my thoughts efficiently. But I can do a page. So my thoughts went on a page because that's how long a poem is…Now I'm writing poetry. I've got this community of friends around the world that I work with.”

I laughed and cried and whooped as I listened. Taking it all as an affirmation of why I was not gently fading away in Devon but was a dyed blond on Parkway letting it all hang out and writing this sweary scary over sharey stuff. I sent notes to friends telling they should listen…in part I’m writing this as I know they won’t listen - but they might read this..

Somewhat energised in spirit though still hideous sore in the hips wrapped myself up in the Burb and out onto Parkway…where I met my landlord/flatmate Paul (he owner of the entire works of Lenin and every edition of International Socialism said volumes which line one side of my bedsit). He said there’s a new Neil Young album reviewed in The Times (Paul has 5 newspapers delivered every day by the mad Moroccan who after saying ‘Have you got a quid? Two quid?’ every time I make the mistake of opening the door to his ring- and then he’ll try to sell me more dope)

So this evening when I was trying to distract myself during a bad OFF time by watching King of Comedy, Paul knocked on my door (a rare curtesy) and came in with page open at Will Hutchinson’s glowing review of Before and After …which was a lot about a seemingly mad old man doing what he wants to do and coming up with something magical…”Young’s musical montage, evokes a sense of intimacy, a feeling that we’re listening in on the great contrarian of the hippy era as he ambles…” all more grist to my mill.

As soon as I had the energy to get up and find my phone I began to play the tracks. Neil’s voice has an old man\s quaver and his guitar sounds old too - like its slightly out of tune of so tuned down that the strings sound slack - but his commitment to the music is absolute. The EP consists of old numbers written decades ago (Hutchinson doesn’t mention this but this is surely Neil taking inspiration from his old friend (and competitor) Bob Dylan’s recent Shadow Kingdom where he too reprises the tracks of his youth with an old man’s wisdom).

The first number I’m The Ocean opens with

I'm an accident
I was driving way too fast
Couldn't stop though
So I let the moment last
I'm for rollin'
I'm for tossin' in my sleep
It's not guilt though
It's not the company I keep

People my age
They don't do the things I do
They go somewhere
While I run away with you
I got my friends…

…

I'm not present I'm a drug that makes you dream I'm an aerostar I'm a cutlass supreme In the wrong lane Trying to turn against the flow I'm the ocean I'm the giant undertow.

So I’m not comparing myself to Neil Young but a cat can be inspired by a king and I lapped up the lines about people my age not doing the things I do and turning against the flow.

Then came the wheezing grunge of Neil and Crazy Horse Chevrolet a long long long rambling rumbling piece about a man a car…and his memories…

What a curve and what a way to go We took it fast before we took it slow Oh, and it feels so good Rollin' the window down Ivory wheel in my hands again

ok ok - I can feel all you youngster’s eyes glazing over at the thought of one old man raving on about another old man\s dreams about old fuckin’ car - for fucks sake…

So I said it was a short diversion and someone its 1.30 am -

The song ends

That's the road we can't go back on
That's the turn we've already made
Oh, but it feels so good
Rollin' the window down
Ivory wheel in my hands again

Gone is the crowded highway
Lost, are the roads we left behind
Found in the place they live inside me
Chevrolet

Chevrolet
Chevrolet
Chevrolet

That was fun
Woo

Night y’all.

[I only discovered as I was pasting the link to the song that Chevrolet is NOT on Before and After]